I, Agamemnon
by Roofran411
Summary: This is loosely based on The 2001 tv series 'Helen of Troy'and are Agamemnon's thoughts on his return home.


This story is very roughly based on the 2001 TV miniseries Helen of Troy with Sienna Guillory as Helen, Matthew Marsden as Paris and Rufus Sewell as Agamemnon.

I have put it into the Greek Mythology category because I didn't know where else to put it .

I have given this story an M rating because of its adult but not explicit themes.

However, as much as I love the series, the You tube post by **LadyAishlynn69 (**Rufus Sewell in Helen of Troy 2003) was the real trigger behind me writing this. My thanks to her.

I do not link her music with my story but the ultimate Jealousy song, "I'll be watching you ."

But, whose words are they ?... Agamemnon's?... Klytemnestra's? ... Or are they Helen's?

. . . .

"I'll be watching you" by the Police.

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you.

.

Every single day

Every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you.

.

Oh Can't you see

You belong to me.

...

.

Every move you make

Every vow you break

Every smile you fake.

Every claim you stake

I'll be watching you.

* * *

I, AGAMEMNON

.

I, Agamemnon,

Son of Atreus the High King,

King of Mykenae,

Lord of the Argolid plains,

Leader of the Greek armies who took and destroyed Troy.

I stand in the shade of the olive tree looking across the beautiful fertile plain, with its tilled fields and fruit trees, its hot dry lemon thyme smell, hearing the clink of the goat bells, to my home in the distance.

Mykenae.

Mykenae floating like magic in the golden heat haze.

I have been king of this land for twenty years now. My father gave it to me when I was seventeen, when I married Klytemnestra. Then, these plains were stripped bare by warring tribes, the people worn and made poor by the marauding bands who frequently descended on them.

"Bring peace and prosperity to your people for your sons to inherit." he said."You will need to rule with your sword in your hand."

He had taught us well, my brother and me. He put swords in our hands when we were ten years old. When I was fourteen, I drove him in his chariot into my first battle. And when I was sixteen and he fourteen, my brother drove me into his first battle, at the side of our father. I killed my first man before I had my first woman, as did my brother.

.

That is how it was.

I have tried always to rule with fairness and honour, though there are those who think otherwise.

There are those who think me devious and cunning.

Not so, but I keep my thoughts and designs to myself. This I have learnt from childhood, as a prince of the blood royal. Watch, look and listen but above all keep your mouth shut, and trust no man; and not many women.

Kings must commit acts that lesser men would shrink from, though that does not mean that they will ever be able to dismiss those acts from their minds and consciences.

.

For ten years I ruled this land by right of sword and brought peace and prosperity to it but I have been away more than ten years now on a senseless, bloody cause, and Klytemnestra, my queen has ruled in my name. And ruled well.

But now I am home.

And I am weary.

"My Lord."

I turn. Cassandra.

Cassandra, daughter of Pram, princess of Troy, mother of my twin sons, spoil of war. Mine by right of conquest, I took her at first by force as my slave, then giving her comfort in her grief, till that gradually changed to her comforting me in mine.

Something akin to love, I suppose.

"My lord, do not go to Mykenae. I see...I see..."

Cassandra, a seer from her childhood, had foreseen the fall of Troy and the deaths of so many.

"What do you see, Cassandra?" My disbelief has always been tempered by the thought that it would be worse not to believe.

Yet what did my belief in the Goddess bring me? Grief beyond all.

"I see blood, water, a net, and a knife."

I smile a little sceptical smile.

"The Seers on the beach at Troy told me not go home. They saw blood and water. Of course there was water! The sea. Yet we are arrived safely. The Oracle at Nauplia had said nets, beware the nets. There is blood. Yet the fishermen there were glad to see us. Knives; there are always knives."

Yet the one I thought perhaps might strike, departed days ago.

And there is always blood.

"I am home. At Mykenae. Cassandra, I am home."

"I feel it. Death, all around. Take care, my lord."

I send her away.

But I too, have felt it.

I had thought that when Menelaus, my brother left, it would ease.

When Menelaus took the Sparta road three days ago with his wife.

His wife, Helen the beautiful, the slut, the whore.

No, it would not be Helen who would wield the knife. The knife is not her weapon. She spreads her legs or closes them.

My brother? No, no, if he was going to use a knife on me it would have been in Troy, when I used her in front of him as I would have used any common, enemy woman, with contempt and hate. No, he had understood! He had understood because it was how he felt too. But his burden was that he_ loved_ her as well.

And he loves me.

Menelaus, my brother! One of the three people I have truly loved. My father, my brother, and one other.

.

The haze thickens: Mykenae disappears and I see Helen.

As I saw her, the first time.

I see Helen, a wild half naked girl who stared around her father's Throne Room, inspecting all the men: she wasn't interested in women even then. I was betrothed to her sister Klytemnestra and was to marry her in two days time. Helen was beautiful. No, not as beautiful as her sister but Klytemnestra was gentle and good: whereas Helen was...even at thirteen, the heat poured out of her. Men wanted her and she knew it. Her eyes went around until I heard her father say, "This is Agamemnon, your sister's betrothed." and they stopped on me, inspecting me till I felt I was naked and she knew what my cock was like, and it started to harden.

Her brother next to her said "Helen!"sharply, strangely, and she smiled a little mocking smile. Mocking me or Pollux?

Later when I walked with Klytemnestra in the gardens, she said, hesitantly to me "You have perhaps heard about my sister?"

"No. No, what?"

"It's nothing." She shrugged.

The next day Helen stared at me and I watched her; under my brows, out of the corner of my eye, sliding my eyes around the room till they rested on her. I was hot for her, I wanted her and she knew it; she smiled her knowing smile.

The day after, at our wedding banquet, Helen came behind me and ran her fingers along my back, her hand on my arm.

I watched her constantly. By the Goddess! I wanted her.

Going to my marriage bed, I was burning for her.

Later in our bed, I asked Klytemnestra about Helen.

Yes, I asked my bride about her sister in our bed.

She told me.

"We had twin brothers Castor and Pollux, older than Helen and I. Helen ran wild with them, rode with them and swam naked with them. I don't know all but there was trouble about them and Helen. Mother found them in her room. Then Theseus "abducted" her, when she was ten and... "

"_Theseus the pirate_?"

I was shocked. If she had been in the hands of Theseus, there would not be much innocence left.

"The twins decided to bring her home. She hadn't wanted to come. Castor and Theseus fought over her and killed each other. Pollux brought her home. She was very knowing. She is still only thirteen."

.

Three years passed. As my father had said, I ruled with my sword and cleared my land of brigands and robbers, till peace was beginning to settle. We had a good marriage, with affection if not love. There were those who had worse.

And I hear my father's voice again.

"I have chosen a wife for your brother but there are other suitors. Come; lend your word to his suit. Your wife might like to see her parents and sister."

Indeed there were other suitors, and feelings were high. I was not the only one who wanted after her. I watched her and she hovered around me, brushing past me, resting her breast on me as she poured my wine. Pollux's face was black and Klytemnestra's was blank. I took her each night hard and long and she knew it was because I was aroused by her sister. The lust burned in me constantly.

And the jealousy ate into me.

And the hate!

Because that was what it was? Hate.

I hated and loathed her.

Not love, never love.

Menelaus was given Helen but all knew she would cause trouble so a pact was made, that each suitor would come to her aid if the need arose.

I should not have been a part of this pact as I was not a suitor but my father and Helen's and the other lords said that I, as the strongest of the young kings, should swear too.

On my brother's wedding night, I got drunk, blind, sottish drunk to kill the lust and the dreadful sickening jealousy and Klytemnestra knew. She knew too, that after the wedding, in the days of festivities that followed, even then, her sister constantly sent lures to her husband and that her husband fought as constant a battle to remain faithful.

And I knew that I was not the only one.

Helen had a need, no, a greed for men.

We returned to Mykenae and my land continued to prosper and Orestes our son and Chrysothermis our daughter were joined first by Electra and then Iphigenia.

Iphigenia, my dearest child.

Across the seas, the kingdom of Troy strengthened its hold over the Hellespont, the entrance to the spice trade route of the East and the Gold Road, demanding increasingly higher tolls. This affected Mykenae less than other kingdoms but the rumbles of discontent could be felt. Troy's wealth became legendary; stories of its gold creating envy.

Over the years, whispers came, through visitors to my court, of my brother's wife...and men.

And the lust and the jealousy were still there in me. And the hate.

Then my brother himself came in much distress; Paris, prince of Troy, a guest in Sparta, had abducted Helen. Menelaus had sent word to the others who had sworn the oath to defend her. They were agreed to rescue Helen from Troy and wanted me to join them as leader.

It is often thought now because of this pact and of the great love he has for his wife that Menelaus is weak and a lesser warrior.

Not true! He is strong, strong enough to make his decisions and to stand by them, no matter what any other might think. To take Helen back when others would have spurned her.

Strong enough to face me, his brother and say "Helen is my Queen."

And he is as fine a soldier as those who gained more fame at Troy. There is no man I would rather have at my back in a fight.

. . .

Klytemnestra came to me. "Do not join them my lord, they are using Helen as an excuse for war."

This I knew.

"I am a warrior as well as a king; I must hold what is mine. They will take Mykenae if I show weakness."

Did I believe this to be true?

Maybe not... I knew I could hold Mykenae against the lesser kings.

Maybe... Maybe I too was using Helen as an excuse.

My Head told me this was a chance to break Troy's stranglehold;

My Head told me how my country could be enriched by this.

My head told me that fame and glory would be mine.

My head also told me that this was no abduction.

Helen went because Helen wanted to go.

My loins burned with lust and jealousy!

I hated and loathed her and I wanted her.

.

My brother said "You are the best warrior, the supreme commander, the finest strategist. We need you."

When I hesitated, he said, "You swore! On your honour."

And I agreed.

Nothing was right.

From the start, nothing but troubles.

The lords quarrelled and fought.

They agreed about nothing, but at last the fleet was ready.

A Thousand Ships.

And the wind died.

We prayed to the gods.

Klytemnestra whispered to me in our bed."Don't go, my lord, my love. I beg you. Helen, you know of Helen."

I knew.

Klytemnestra knew of my hate and my lust for her, though we never spoke of it.

Calchas and his priests came. "My Lord, the Goddess demands sacrifice."

"We have sacrificed."

"Human sacrifice."

My stomach turned.

There had not been human sacrifice in my land for many years, since long, long before my reign.

Klytemnestra said "My lord, we are buying what we detest with what we hold most dear. You have cleared our land of barbaric practices. Let them not creep back."

The lords began to demand it. The mutterings and ill feelings were rife.

"We must go."

"Troy must fall."

The priests said a child, a child of the blood royal, the youngest child, by royal hand.

Menelaus had no children, I was next in blood.

A child of my blood.

By my hand.

They bayed for sacrifice.

"You must"

"The Goddess demands it."

I gave in to them.

And she climbed the temple steps, my beautiful golden haired child running with joy and trust to her father, who tossed her in the air, who as she laughed, thrust his sword into her and she died in my arms. My Iphigenia, darling of my heart.

And the wind came.

. . . . .

The next years were sickening for their fighting and killing. I, who was trained as a warrior from ten years old, was sickened at first then became hardened to it.

I saw friends and enemies alike fall senselessly. I saw friends kill each other for little or no reason.

I saw the sea around Troy darken with blood.

I saw Hector and Paris, princes of Troy, brothers as Menelaus and I, die outside the walls. I heard rumours that, inside the walls, Helen had taken their brother as her lover.

Till at last we took Troy.

By a trick, a ruse.

We killed and burned and tore down the beautiful palaces of Troy. And Helen was brought to me. She looked at me and she smiled her little knowing smile.

And I raped her as my brother entered the room; I raped her in front of him.

Although, was it rape?

And if it was, who was raping who?

She smiled at me and she smiled at him. In triumph.

She had won! She had had me at last.

I hated and loathed her.

I knew I would never want her again.

And I hated and loathed myself even more.

.

Cassandra, Priam's daughter was part of my spoils and some time on the long journey back we gave each other some love and comfort.

On the journey from Nauplia to Mykenae, whenever we stopped, there were whispers,

Whispers which were hushed when I approached, whispers and looks. Till at last Cassandra came to me and told me.

Klytemnestra ...my cousin Aegisthes.

I felt no anger with Klytemnestra only tiredness. I have been away a long time. She, like me, must have needed comfort in her grief. We could be together again. We had had companionship, affection, love of a sort, not a great passion to be killed by adultery.

My heart ached for Iphigenia as it had every day for ten years, as hers must. We could help each other.

Aegisthes was different.

I would think what to do about him.

.

"My Lord,"

The mists clear and I swing around to see a boy kneeling before me. A boy: no, a young man! I know him I think...no. Yet he is so familiar, his height, his black curls, his big green eyes, the long narrow sculptured mouth... Who?

"My Lord? Father?"

Orestes, Orestes my son?

The looks that are so familiar to me are my own.

I raise him and clasp him to me. "My boy. You rode out to greet me? "

"Yes. Yes I wanted... " He is confused, not knowing what to say, how to explain. "I wanted to ...be...at your side. When you entered the city."

I understand; he is showing his allegiance.

"Come, we will eat and we will ride into Mykenae together tomorrow."

.

We ride up the ramp and through the Lion gate, through the streets to my palace. My people line the streets and seem glad to see me. Yet there is something ... Watching... waiting...

My Queen looks beautiful as she always has. Cool, calm.

"Do you wish to eat my lord?

"Later I think Klytemnestra, We should talk perhaps?"

"Of course but perhaps you would like to bathe first? The pool is warm and ready."

"Yes. Yes, it is some time since I have rested in a pool!"

"I will attend you myself."

I undress and enter the pool, warm and scented. I sit on the long marble seat and relax.

Yet there is still some unease but what?

Klytemnestra comes into the pool room. She is wearing a short chiton with a strange garment draped over her shoulder.

On the top step into the pool she pauses. "Aegisthes." she whispers.

"He is nothing." I say tiredly.

"As you say, he is nothing." she says on a sigh. "Come, my husband," and I slide along the bench closer to her. She slips the odd thing off her shoulder

"I loved you." she says softly. "From the first day I saw you, in my father's palace. I loved you as my sister bewitched and enticed you. I loved you each time you took me thinking of her. I loved you even when you sacrificed Iphigenia to the Goddess to go to her. In Aethistus' bed, It was you I was thinking of; you I loved. I have always loved you, but you never saw me. Only Helen."

And she throws it over me.

A net.

"Your Trojan whore is dead. I killed her and her two bastards."

Water ... A net ... A knife?

From her belt at the back she draws a knife

I do not struggle. The Goddess has ordained it.

I do not feel the pain as she thrusts it into me again and again but I see the blood colour the water around me, and it is beginning to get dark.

.


End file.
